June 2006 Archives

Memorial Programme

Hi everyone,

We'd like to share some of the memorial pieces that were shared during Greg's services last weekend.

Greg's Memorial Program

Dr. Paul Meyerson
Snooze's close online friend

Most of you have no idea what a MUD is, but if you are to understand how greg lived online, it's an important point. Imagine you are IM'ing (instant message) someone. Now, imagine that you can IM several people at once--you have a chat room. A place where people can congragate. But add characters and rooms and descriptions of those rooms and you have an online town or village. And in that arena, people spend time together. Talking, joking, just being together. This is how I spent time with greg for almost 10 years.

Some people would say that there's a big difference between knowing people online like this--never being there in the same room, or on the phone. But talk to someone, in any way, an hour or two a day, for 5 or 6 years, and any difference there might have been no longer exists. You know the person on a deep and connected level. I spoke to Greg every day, at least for a short while, many times for hours. But not continuously, usually. Talking on MUDs are generally a disconnected series of sentences, fragments of conversations.

I once commented "this is so odd. I say something. You answer me 3 hours later." His response, which made me crack up at the time was a simple shrug, saying "It's the mudder way."

That was perfect for him. No one in your face. No one demanding anything. The mudder way.

I'd come back home from work to a couple of different, but typical greg actions:

Gregory run in circles (if he was feeling pent up)
or
Gregory stomps around (usually if Dale decided to switch the TiVo to something else...)
or just
Gregory bored (which happened a lot since counting himself among the unemployed)

So he turned his attention to his computer and his friends. He must have been on 20 MUDs, and he'd often be on all of them at once, switching between them and keeping 20 conversations going (although often none of them well...greg had an attention span that would make my 5 year old jealous)

One of the good things about being on the MUD was that he could be pretty open with feelings--things that are hard to say in real life. I remember clearly this one story, which I mentioned to Eleanor, about 6 years ago. He told me that he had gotten a call late that night that he was the alternate for a new lung and completely freaked out. He jumped online looking for me but I wasn't around and at the time he didn't have my number. So he ran in circles for awhile before calling the hospital and telling them no, and to take them off the wait list. I remember giving him the what for and nearly screaming at him (as much as you can in a text-only format) that he was an idiot and he needs to get back on that list, blah blah blah. He was so nervous and just nodded at me. Eventually, though, he got on the list again and waited and waited. When it was time for the fateful call, he IM'd me from the car to tell me that he was going in for the surgery and how proud of himself he was that he didn't turn this one down.

As time went by, we started talking more on things like skype--online voice chat. Usually, we'd talk while watching a show, and usually anime, because of how passionate he was about that. Of course, being greg, we'd start 10 series and not finish any of them. He was so patient with the fact that I didn't really like anime, and just kept giving me new things to try until I DID find some that I liked. Now I have to go out and find Cowboy Bebop and Full Metal Alchemist to see how they end.

For sure, though, the thing we all enjoyed watching most together was the new Dr. Who series. he'd upload it to me and our friend linda and the 3 of us would watch it together for the first time. He'd always wait to watch with us and frequently stomp around in frustration because I had to work, or we couldn't find a time, or whatever. if several days went by, he'd still wait, but he sure didn't want to!

He was such a sweet guy, and so shy. I don't think the shyness came across until we started talking, and even more so when we met in person. I remember being on skype with both greg and linda and her 12 year old daughter, lulu, was there and I put my 5 year old, katie, on to talk with lulu...and greg. So katie, being the least shy person in the world, yakked to lulu for 5 minutes or so, before returning the headset to me. There was a bit of silence, broken eventually by greg saying "ok, that was the cutest. thing. ever."

I see his name everywhere still. My friends lists on Gizmo, skype, AOL IM, still sleeping in the MUDs, old emails--even my calendar program popups when it came up with an appointment and gave me the choice of "Dismiss" or "Snooze." They're all still there, but he isn't.

However, one of our mutual close friends online, Jenni and I decided that he would like the idea of us having him as our imaginary friend. He's still asleep in many of the MUDs he talked on, and everyone I spoke to intends to keep his character alive--in spirit--there for as long as the MUD is around. So, I'll always have Greg to talk to, in his way. The mudder way. And eventually, I know, he'll get around to answering. I'm willing to wait.

emily sparkle
keeper of Greg's blog

Like many folks, my first connection with Greg was digital. In 1996, I was on an email list for the local electronic dance community called “boston ravers”. Shortly after he introduced himself to the list, we arranged to meet in person at a Redlight party. I was bringing glowsticks, and he wanted some. I spotted him on the dance floor when I arrived, dancing like crazy in the mist of the fog machine wearing his Batz Maru backpack and laden with colorful bracelets and necklaces. When I introduced myself he hugged me warmly and brightly said “OH! I have a present for you!” After examining his arms in the dim flashing lights, he pulled a bracelet off and presented it to me. Among the glowy beads were ones that said E-M-I-L-Y. I was so touched that he had made this bracelet especially for me.

Greg had a very special ability to connect with people. He did this by sharing his passions for things like music, technology, anime, art, food, and movies with everyone he could through many channels. He loved to introduce friends with similar interests. He’d gather us for movie night or arrange a shopping trip through Harvard Square. We’d convene at the El Phoenix Room to stuff ourselves with 10 cent wings and cheap beer and talk and laugh. Sometimes there were more than 20 of us causing quite a ruckus.

He loved introducing people to new technology. He was my first-line technical support. Greg is single-handedly responsible for my digital addictions to mailing lists, instant messaging, macs, ipods, rss, css, wireless, strongbad, boingboing and countless interesting websites. He helped me set up my first blog and tempted me with the worlds of irc, mudds, Bluetooth, video games, gadgets, flicker, friendster, torrents… well you get the point. He probably did the same for you!

Together we’ve shared many lunches, pizzas, pans of brownies and countless sushi rolls. Greg LOVED sushi and would try anything once. We once got a little carried away and ate over $100 worth of sushi between the two of us. I can’t remember what we were celebrating, but we waddled out of his favorite sushi place in Harvard Square laughing at ourselves for being such sushipigs.

When his health became a concern, I was asked to accompany him to doctors appointments, to be there to take notes and hold his hand when they gave him the crushing news. “You have hard fibers in your lungs… and we don’t know why.” Later he asked me if I would be in charge of his blog when it came time for his lung transplant. It was very important to him that you all have the opportunity to know how he was doing. It has been my honor to perform this service for my dear friend Greg and his community.

As you know, Greg LOVED Anime. He collected DVDs, figurines, comics and anything else he could find with those brightly colored, big-eyed characters and was always introducing me to new series he would find online. To tell you the truth, I didn’t really GET most of it, but the art was fantastic and the stories were bizarre. They all sort of overlapped in my mind and he would laugh with me as I tried to figure out how a cute blue haired Japanese pixie turned into a panda bear when falling into water. He finally found one I could follow along to… after all, the Fruits Baskets series was about love and romance.

When I think of Greg, I hear music. I hear the oontz oontz oontz of dance music and cheeky lyrics and happy hollers from people on the dance floor. He really knew how to keep people dancing through the night. One of my favorite music memories of Greg is hearing him spin on one of the most beautiful beaches on Cape Cod. He had told me he had a fantastic set planned, and I will always remember the beauty in magical moment he created as sun peeked over the ocean-horizon. He had carefully selected the sunrise track and we joyfully kicked up the sand as we danced in a frenzy to the deep voice booming across the beach ”together as one, we dance with the sun, coming up through the sky, dancing together, dancing together, dancing together…”

---

and this is a lot for one entry, but we're putting a pretty face on the new SnoozeRadio, a 24x7 shoutcast of Snooze's mixes that Paul has created to memorialize Greg's mixes.

password, please...???

so, the digital world is feeling greg's absence. his personal computer has been accidentally shut down and his parents need information on it. of course, there is a password. rumor has it that the password has something to do with a monkey. really. :-) if anyone has a suggestion as to what that password might be (likely anime related), please write to zygoticbucky[at]gmail [dot] com. thank you!

or, if you know how to get past a password on a MAC, that would also be helpful. could a tech at the MAC store do this?

Looking for Photos

Greg's family is hoping to put together a slide show for the memorial. to that end, they are calling for any photos people may have of Greg doing the things he loved to do (DJing, dancing, eating, and the like). please send medium resolution pictures to his family at: eblake[at]ezoons[dot]com.

Memorial Information

Greg's family has set some times for the memorial. On Friday there will be an open house at the family home in Hartford from 5-8 p.m. On Saturday there will be a memorial service at 4:00 at the Hartford Seminary, which is only one block away from the home. Address, guest book, and other information can be found in Greg's obituary:

http://www.legacy.com/hartfordcourant/DeathNotices.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=18028302
if you're coming to hartford this weekend for the memorial and need a place to stay, please contact the family or let me know by email (fontaholic [at] gmail [dot] com) if you need a place to stay. the blakes and several of their friends have spare bedrooms and such for out-of-towners.

Let the Way be Open

greg, how do i put into words what i witnessed? we walked in and saw you so small, so deflated of life, so hooked up to technology. it was clear that the doctors and nurses had tried every damn thing they could. some machines were whirling, some were beeping, others bleated out numbers and blips and lines. bucky's certain if they'd had you on systems running on mac osx, you would have been better off.

a visual shock... those four giant hoses running blood from your leg to your neck... but your mom gave me a quick lesson in ECMO technology. she's become an expert... i was impressed. your breathing was odd, there were tubes and needles on every visible part of your body, and clearly beneath the johnnies too. it took me a little while to understand how everything was connected, working, happening.

your parents were so strong, greg. we stood with you and exchanged stories and moments and loving words of your life, your passion for music, anime and computers, your sense of humor and your penchant for the understatement. Eine stayed with you the whole time, and i thought that would suit you just fine... since Batz Maru was no where to be found. iTunes kept belting out your favorite tunes.

ironically, you were the largest, oldest patient at Children's Hospital, yet their attendance to you was as loving and caring as it would be for a small, scared child. when it was time, the nurses sweetly, gently explained as they removed tape and tubes and machines from your body. 'it's alright.' 'you're ok.' 'everyone is here for you, greg.'

and we were. we were there so intensely for you, that the rest of the room fell away. we stood, your mom, dad, bucky and i with our hands on you, saying prayers with the hospital minister, who was cheeky and helpful. a favorite chant of mine bubbled out... these moments are bittersweet and soft and beautiful. we waited, holding space for you while you took your last labored breaths.

bucky felt your energetic body cease transmitting. i poured as much loving energy into you as i could to help your passage be smooth. we all had eachother's backs. i felt your appreciation and i was honored to be there for you and your family.

we toasted your name with spicy scallop roll and sake at that place we always went in harvard square. before that meal, i had never been to that restaurant with anyone except you. you were an amazing, special friend and i am humbled by the strength you had in life.

Memorial Services

The family is working on the details for Greg's services this weekend. They invite you to gather at their home Friday afternoon and evening for an informal 'wake' and/or Saturday for services at a location to be determined. I will post more as I get it. The comments you're leaving are beautiful and reflect my feelings for Greg.

Safe passage, Gregory

Greg died today around 4:37 pm at Children's Hospital with his family and friends at his bedside. He was comfortable and surrounded by prayer, music and love. Memorial information to follow. I was honored to be there.

greg had a stable night

Eleanor called with a 'glass half full report'. Greg had a stable night last night. He's still on the ECMO and they're now increasing the length of time he's on dialysis.

tomorrow they're going to try again what they did on wednesday -- turn down the ECMO and see how his heart looks on the echocardiogram. hopefully it will go better this time.

Eleanor and Dale had the amazing opportunity to watch his doctors do a bronchoscopy on Greg. They verified that the sutures that connect his lung to his heart are still in good shape. They also saw no obvious infection. These are 'crumbs of hopefullness'.

The family is being mindful of the balance of doing things FOR Greg and doing things TO him. It sounds like they have a very supportive staff of Nurses at Children's, too. I am greatful for all they have done for Greg and his family.

I may have the opportunity to visit Children's hospital on Monday afternoon. I will be happy to take your comments to him -- read them to him, if I can. So please feel free to say as much as you need to Greg. If you'd prefer to email your thoughts for him privately, please do so at fontaholic *at* gmail *dot* com.

not much change

Greg's family met again today with the doctors. Although there hasn't been solid improvement, they have found a medication that is stablizing his heart rhythm, but he still having a problem maintaining a steady heart rate. The doctors are encouraged, and will keep adjusting things as long as they keep finding things that work.

Greg is very sick. He won't be able to stay on the ECMO much longer. His lungs are holding, but the doctors are very concerned about infection because his defenses are down from the immunosuppresives they're giving him. The next two days are critical.

Eleanor asked me to extend her thanks to those of you who have been calling and leaving supportive, loving messages for the family. They really appreciate it and know you all understand that now is a very difficult time for them and they often don't have the energy to take many calls, or make a lot of return phone calls, but they feel blessed to have the support of all of you.

Keep the prayers and healing energies flowing. love you greg.

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