Gizmodo posts about how you can get custom printed toilet paper. Just $12/per for four rolls (cheaper in volume). What would YOU have printed on yours?
Warning: fread(): Length parameter must be greater than 0 in /home/gblake/include/blogroll.class.php on line 21
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/gblake/include/blogroll.class.php on line 40
May 17, 2006
What Would You Have Printed
May 04, 2006
Stop or I'll Shoot!
Perfect for stopping little kids in their tracks.
Step away from the limousine, or I'll shoot you with this ... teddy bear? The Teddy Bear Gun capitalizes on a cutesy trend in Japan where wedding guests throw teddy bears at wedding receptions instead of rice or bouquets.
If teddy bear throwing sounds like a lot of work to you, here it's made easy with a simple touch of a button. Pull the trigger and the tiny plush bear is catapulted into the air, and once airborne, it'll float safely back to earth thanks to its tiny parachute. Made by paintball gun manufacturer Sunamiya, the party crackers will go on sale this month.
May 01, 2006
Those Damn Blue Shirts
The idea for this mission was submitted by a stranger via email. Agent Slavinsky wrote in to suggest I get either a large group of people in blue polo shirts and khakis to enter a Best Buy or a group in red polo shirts and khakis to enter a Target. Wearing clothing almost identical to the store's uniform, the agents would not claim to work at the store but would be friendly and helpful if anyone had a question.
April 25, 2006
Zefrank, the person responsible for me learning to dance, has recently embarked on a new endeavor. The Show is a daily vlog covering various current events in a way that only Zefrank could do. For a nice welcome to the show, check out yesterday's post.
Not to be missed.
(Thanks to Waxy.org Links once again.)
Invited to a Party?
April 20, 2006
Not just bunnies. SINGING bunnies.
April 19, 2006
Sense of Humor Needed
Ryan Holt, Vice Pres of student government at U of SC, got a bit bent out of shape when faced with a prank. Quick get this guy a sense of humor.
One of the finest examples of this is Ryan Holt, Vice President of the student government at the University of South Carolina, who is now immortalized in this video of him freaking out because someone had played a prank on him -- they filled his office will balloons. "Look at me being serious!" he yelled, not realizing that his rant would be turned into a domain name, lookatmebeingserious.com.[via The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century :: Joey deVilla's Weblog]
And don't forget. Air costs money!
April 12, 2006
Overheard on the Mud
Seen while hanging out on one of the various muds I spend time on:
My Son is listening to the exchange between me and the controller and wants to chime in on the conversion. I said to my son, "Just hang on; I will give you a chance". I never should have said that because now he is all excited to talk on the radio. As I start to turn inbound on the turn, the Approach control said "Contact tower when established on the localizer". So I told my young Padawan Learner "OK, when this needle gets here on the dial, push the radio button and tell the tower that 93 Romeo is inbound on the localizer".
Now imagine this, I am giving basic instrument instruction to a 9 year old. Before I can give him something simpler to say he keys the mike and says "REBEL BASE, THIS IS RED 5. WE ARE STARTING OUR ATTACK RUN ON THE DEATH STAR".
Now this was post 9/11, and before I can key my mike and say anything, the tower jumps on and says "RED 5, YOUR CLEARED FOR THE APPROACH TO THE DEATH STAR. REPORT HITS AWAY"
I'm still curious the source of this, so if anyone has seen it elsewhere let me know.
EDIT: Original story can be found here I recommend checking it out.
March 17, 2006
Those Darn Snakes
It's finally here, though the video quality isn't that great. I give you the trailer for Snakes on a Plane.
March 14, 2006
An answer to social networks: isolatr
February 23, 2006
Compare and Contrast
Swiped from Bookslut. Compare and contrast Brokeback Mountain and Curious George, as written by a freshman.
Although Curious George and Brokeback Mountain share many similarities, they also share many differences. Both involve men in hats, but the meaning of the hat changes.
Curious George is the story of a monkey and the man he adopts. The Man in the Yellow Hat works in a museum, where he never figures out that Drew Barrymore has a crush on him. He must be gay or something. He gets sent to Africa to find a statue that could save the museum. He doesn't, but he could of if he had figured out how to read the map. A monkey steals his hat, which is like stealing his identity, but it's a hat. It's an example of nature's inhumanity to man. [Confessions of a Community College Dean] [via Bookslut]
February 21, 2006
The IT Crowd
I just took in the first three episodes of The IT Crowd, a new comedy on Channel 4 UK. It's about the members of an IT group working in the basement of a large company. It's silly, has many geeky moments, and is pretty damn fun (though it did take an episode or two for me to get into it. The show is from Father Ted creator Graham Linehan and seems to have much of that same kind of feel.
Recommended if you like british comedy shows. You can find it at the usual bittorrent sources.
February 10, 2006
The Elements of Spam Style
From McSweeney's, The Elements of Spam.
14. Use the active voice.
Notice how aloof the passive voice is.
Your balls are to be slurped the most by cum-starved nymphos!!!!!
Hardly persuasive. The five exclamation points feel tacked on, an attempt by an inexperienced writer to breathe life into a desiccated construction. The active voice, however, allows you to write with verve and straightforwardness.
Cum-starved nymphos will slurp your balls the most!!!!!
January 28, 2006
For all the Ravers in the Audience
January 13, 2006
Video of the Day
A great love song for all the geeks out there.
Bloggers being funny
December 20, 2005
Now you too can pimp your nutcracker.
November 11, 2005
November 10, 2005
Okay, just one more quiz
Okay, one more quiz for the day and I'll stop. But I liked that I was Very Silly.
Arbitrary Silly Coordinates: (105,5)
Now, score each answer as follows:
A) 256 points
Multiply the score of each answer by the square root of its ordinal number.
Now, take all the answers whose ordinal number is even but not evenly divisible by three and add them together to get an X-axis value. Take all the answers whose ordinal number is evenly divisible by three but not by two and add them together to yield a Y-axis value. For all other answers, discard the results; they were red-herrings.
^________________________________________ 9.001 | | /| | | | Write questions/ | | | Visit | to The Oracle / | | F |Parents| /\ / | Libertarian | | | /o \--* S | | u | |------/o \ l _--_ | |-------+ \ o/\ e ' ` | r | \_ \ o/ \ e( Date ) | | \_ Attend \/ o \p "-__-" | l | \_ party \ o / | | | Watch \_ \ /----+-------------| o | TV all \ __ \/ | | day ] ---__| Play Doom | n |____________| +___________________| | \ Drink |______ | g | rn \heavily_| | | | alt. \ / | Oaklahoma | s | binaries. >---< Do | | | pictures. / \__ your +------------| 9 | erotica / lint \ laundry | +-----------------------------------------> -3 6.02*10^23 F o r t n i g h t s
Finally, print the above chart out on a piece of paper. Using the X- and Y-axis values you computed earlier, find the corresponding location on the chart and mark it. Then throw it away and try not to think about it. You'll be glad you did.
|My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:|
|Link: The Very Silly Test written by ewhac on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test|
November 07, 2005
Good. Bad. I'm the one with the gun.
Because I was psyched to get this result:
November 04, 2005
After listening to TWiT the other day I felt compelled to check out Tiki Bar TV, Forbidden cocktails in a swank pad. I can't decide if it is genius or incredibly stupid, but I do know I can't stop watching it. You should definitely give the Tiki Bar a visit.
October 30, 2005
A wonderful mashup of Plato's Republic and Reservoir Dogs can be found here.
[Thrasymachus is tied up in a chair. Socrates is brandishing a gun in his face]
Thrasymachus: Don't kill me, man!
Socrates: Are you finished, fucker?
Thrasymachus: Look, look, man, you can have my ten yoke of oxen. My virgin daughters? My pomegranite orchard?
Socrates: You like pomegranites? Shit, motherfucker, I hear they've got a fuckin' all-you-can-eat special going on on pomegranites where you're headed.
Thrasymachus: Don't do it, Socrates. Be fair.
Socrates: [Suddenly contemplative] Fair?
Thrasymachus: [Sees an opportunity for survival] Yeah, fair... think about my wife and children --
If philosophy class had been like this maybe I wouldn't have done so badly in it.
September 30, 2005
Shining looks like it could rock. Check out the trailer.
September 28, 2005
Just in Case You Were Wondering
Here's a list of 1,159 naughty words according to the NFL. These are not allowed on personalized jerseys from the NFL Shop site. There are some interesting ones in there.
September 19, 2005
Because It Is That Day Again
September 15, 2005
Whipping it. Whipping it good.
September 11, 2005
FSM: The Game
Flying Spaghetti Monster: The Game. I loved it. It was better than cats. I'm going to play it again and again. Require Flash.
September 07, 2005
Hagrid and Jesus
Thank you McSweeney's for providing me with such fun reading materials. Today we've got Things Hagrid the Half Giant Woudl say If He Served Jesus Instead of Harry Potter and A Letter from "The Power" to Public Enemy.
From the first:
"Speakin' of cups runnethin' over, laddie, mine's be gettin' a mite dry. How 'bout changin' this 'ere water into somethin' a bit more, well, frisky?"
"Why, if a fellow wanted ta get away clean, Peter-me-lad, all they'd have ter do would be ta deny they ever even knowed Jesus. Uh-oh. I shouldn't eh told yeh that."
And the second:
Dear Chuckdee, Flavor Flavor, Professor Griffin, and everyone else,
Hey, guys! What's up? Or should I say "what up"? Is that how you hippity-hoppers and homeyboys and gangerbangers are saying it now? Never mind. I'll get right to the point.
Do we have to keep fighting like this? Or, more specifically, do you really want to keep fighting me? I don't mind indulging you if that's what you guys want. It's not hurting me, of course, since I am The Power after all. But I just wonder if you might consider giving it up. I mean, this has been going on for a while and I'm still very much here.
Do you realize that you've been fighting me since 1989? (What a crazy summer that was, huh? Whatever happened to that funky drummer?) Now, that's 16 years ago. Babies born that summer are driving cars now! So much has happened since then. Presidents have come and gone, the Soviet Union collapsed. But not The Power! Honestly, guys, I'd really like to be your friend and hang out with you at your rapping concerts. It's time to put this behind us.
Squirrel Bites Dog
In the battle between animals. The squirrels shall rule the world:
Labrador loses to a squirrel
When Carl the labrador chased a squirrel into the woods, his owners' only concern was for his quarry.
As my gnome warrior in WoW says, "Ya'know. Squirrels are deadly when cornered.
August 24, 2005
Hung Like a Horse
Here's a fun little video for The Hollywood Reporter 26th Annual Key Art Awards. It features a number of well known voiceover artists. I know I've definitely heard all of them before on various movie trailers.
via Boing Boing
August 16, 2005
WoW playing Mom Busts Kid
Okay, a lesson for you kids out there. It's very possible that your parents have more than a clue about computers these days. It's not like my generation where most of them have no idea how to do things like "lob on". From joystiq:
It used to be that a boy could play his favorite game all night and mean old Mom would be none the wiser about it.
But when WoW’s so popular that Mom’s playing too, Junior runs the risk of getting busted. In the thread linked below, little boy Brion makes a rather innocent-sounding forum post at 3:30 AM. Trouble is, his mother notices because she reads that same forum. She responds:
”Pardon me for hijacking the thread, here.. But, Brion - if you don’t want your mother to know you were up and on the computer at 3:29 in the morning - DON’T post on a forum that she reads. Busted. Grounded.”
July 22, 2005
Hey, You Got Your Sex In My Violence
Though I'm sick of all the news surrounding the hidden sex scenes in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas I enjoyed this column over on sfgate.com:
There's Sex In My Violence!
What's this lame soft-core porn doing in my ultraviolent "Grand Theft Auto"? I am outraged!
Suddenly that downloadable patch you installed last night kicks in and there's, like, a lame and badly animated sex scene, right there, right between the graphic bloody part where you bazooka'd the police helicopter and the part where the gang-banger gets his lame ass beaten with a large handgun, and suddenly you're like, what the hell? Who stuck this lame badly animated sex in here? Where'd my soul-numbing ultraviolent racism go? I am outraged. [sfgate.com]
July 20, 2005
Some Fun For The Afternoon
No real point here, just some links I found interesting today.
- Sam & Max: The Flash Animation
- How Movie Studios Misuse Reviews [boing boing]
Daily Star: "Trainspotting meets A Clockwork Orange!"
Actual line: "This glum, violent drama about a Scottish thug ruined by drink is written and pretentiously directed by Richard Jobson whose approach â€” Trainspotting meets A Clockwork Orange â€” is bad enough to drive you to drink in no time."
- TV Dinner Inventor Gerry Thomas Dies [boing boing]
Now I'm off to try updating this blog to MT 3.2.
July 12, 2005
Lap Juice? Um...
Once again, something from Boing Boing leaves me a bit speachless:
Lapjuicer designed for lapdancers to make juice
This chair is designed to hold a piece of fruit so a lapdancer can grind the juice out of it. Semi-NSFW photos of the chair in action can be seen at the link.
July 04, 2005
NASA Violates Spiritual Rights
Those damn people at NASA! How dare they? :)
MOSCOW (AFP) - A Russian astrologer has taken legal action against NASA for compensation, claiming that the US space agency's bombardment of the Tempel 1 comet will upset her horoscope and violates her spiritual rights.
The experiment, in which NASA fired a projectile the size of a fridge at the comet Monday, was an attack on "the holy of holies," Marina Bai's law suit claims, according to Russian press reports. Her suit, filed at a Moscow court, claims violation of her "life and spiritual values." [Yahoo! News]
April 08, 2005
Truth is Stranger than Fiction?
A few years ago I remember a story going around about someone trying to use a $2 bill at a Taco Hell. Snopes doesn't have any indication as to if it is true or false, but it seems that there are some people out there who still aren't familiar with $2 bills.
A Baltimore man tried to pay for a Best Buy car stereo installation with $2 bills—and was arrested. Apparently the man was already upset with the Best Buy's service, so thought he'd stage a minor protest by using the uncommon currency:"I'm just here to pay the bill," Bolesta says he told a cashier. "She looked at the $2 bills and told me, 'I don't have to take these if I don't want to.' I said, 'If you don't, I'm leaving. I've tried to pay my bill twice. You don't want these bills, you can sue me.' So she took the money. Like she's doing me a favor."(Thanks, C0bra!) Gizmodo]
He remembers the cashier marking each bill with a pen. Then other store personnel began to gather, a few of them asking, "Are these real?"
April 01, 2005
Gotta Find One of Those Caps
Google has announced their latest project: Google gulp! (with auto-drink(tm)).
Think fruity. Think refreshing. Think a DNA scanner embedded in the lip of your bottle reading all 3 gigabytes of your base pair genetic data in a fraction of a second, fine-tuning your individual hormonal cocktail in real time using our patented Auto-Drinkâ„¢ technology, and slamming a truckload of electrolytic neurotransmitter smart-drug stimulants past the blood-brain barrier to achieve maximum optimization of your soon-to-be-grateful cerebral cortex. Plus, it's low in carbs! And with flavors ranging from Beta Carroty to Glutamate Grape, you'll never run out of ways to quench your thirst for knowledge.
I'm still unsure about the bottles reporting information about me to Google, but the Sero-Tonic Water sounds tasty. They are also rolling this out slowly, as they did with Gmail. You can only get some if a friend of yours gives you a bottle cap for it. Hopefully I'm cool enough that I can get one.
December 04, 2004
Seen over on a friend's LJ, a flash movie with a dancing and singing bunny.
November 30, 2004
How to Kill a Mockingbird
In case you ever wondered what To Kill a Mockingbird was about.
November 26, 2004
I Just Can't Think of a Title for This One
In the world of bizzare news:
Hamilton woman angry at police confiscation of pickled snakes so threw a jar of pickled kittens at them
It has been revealed a Hamilton woman was so angry about police taking her three preserved snakes that she stormed into the station and threw a jar of pickled kittens at the counter.
The jar shattered. [NZCity News]
I personally think the sentence "It has been revealed a Hamilton woman was so angry about police taking her three preserved snakes that she stormed into the station and threw a jar of pickled kittens at the counter." would make a great entry into the Bulwer-Lytton Contest.
November 24, 2004
Disclaimer stickers for science textbooks
I can't remember where I saw the link to this originally (or I'd give credit). Here's a subset of a bunch of disclaimer stickers for science textbooks. The first one is an actual disclaimer is taken from a sticker designed by the Cobb County School District in Georgia (see original).
November 11, 2004
It's Not Easy Being Green
Since I saw the Shrek Twinkies at the store today, I just had to get some and take pictures of them. I was only able to stomach a few bites though. I'm just not a huge Twinkie fan.
November 06, 2004
Hello Kitty Rocks
November 04, 2004
Oh my, I wonder if someone at CNN will lose their job over this. The lesson, be careful what you name your files (even if it is accurate).
November 01, 2004
Tired of the picture perfect virtual relationships? iBitch 2.0 puts the balance back into your virtual lovelife, giving you the "low end" to have a more fulfilling and realistic virtual relationship. After all, there can be no good, without the bad, right? iBitch 2.0 is the latest addition to the Virtual Girlfriend software family, compatible with Mac & Windows. [arkamfilms.com]
Oh yes, and this probably isn't worksafe.
October 29, 2004
Get Out And Vote...
Here's a site where you can vote for a Bush or Kerry Pumpkin. I personally think they both look kind of ugly. They both looks like there's something running out of their noses. I think I'd be scared if I saw them as a kid, so maybe they'd be great for halloween. Unfortunately, at the time of this posting, Bush is winning.
October 25, 2004
In Case of Erruption
Just in case you happen to live anywhere near a Volcano.
From the U.S. Geological Survey's What to Do if a Volcano Erupts page:[via The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century :: Joey deVilla's Weblog]
During an Eruption -
Move Away From A Volcano - Not Toward It
October 18, 2004
Once again, my friend Lyn links to some of the oddest things:
October 13, 2004
From over on McSweeney's, Sexual Euphemisms That Won't Catch On. Here's a small sample:
Paying extra for refills
Do-boning the salmon fillet
Compounding 4 percent interest annually
Taking the F train to Queens
Thanks to a friend of mine on LJ for posting this, I can't remember which one I read it on though.
October 09, 2004
October 04, 2004
Reason #5 Katamary Damacy rocks: You can roll up cows. They Moo. Reason #4 is the music for the game.
If you haven't seen this game, check out this clip of the gameplay.
October 02, 2004
It's All About the Cheese
ST. JOHN'S Â â€”Â Police in St. John's say drug abusers trying to pay for their habits has led to a thriving black market for cheese.
The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary says stealing and reselling food from supermarkets and other stores to support addictions is becoming quite common.
Earlier this week, they say a man threatened to stab people with a hypodermic needle in the parking lot of a supermarket.
Staff Sgt. June Layden says he was holding a number of blocks of cheese when police arrested him "Right now we believe it was between 12 and 16 blocks, quite a quantity of cheese," she says.
Patrick Corrigan, 26, is charged with theft and assault in connection with the incident.
Layden says cheese theft is a growing problem in this province â€” and that the people stealing it need quick money to buy drugs like OxyContin.
"From speaking with a number of people yesterday including some employees at some of our larger supermarkets ... they are finding people are coming in and stealing it by blocks," she says. [read more] [via lonita.links.log]
Don't Be a Victim!
From my good friend Emilily: The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation
The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation was created in 1982 by a small group that originally came together as a an informal support group for problems that were the result of traumatic experiences at petting zoos as children. This group realized that there were many others out there who were afraid to come forward with their horrific stories and wanted to find some way to help as many people as they could. The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation is the result of their dream.
Through its programs and workshops, individuals from all walks of life have been able to live happier and more fulfilling lives, without the ever-present ghosts of their personal goat traumas. Some have even made such progress that they have been able to put their traumas completely behind them and rejoin mainstream society.
No matter what the effects of your trauma, we can help you. The effects of a childhood goat trauma vary widely from person to person, depending on the severity of their trauma. Such problems as irrational fears, unexplained twitching, and insomnia could all have origin in a goat trauma. [The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation]
Goats never really bothered me much. Hamsters though, I still twitch when I think about that one time...
For bonus points: What childhood experience traumatized you? For me it was my uncle making me go to The Haunted Mansion at Disneyworld when I was like three or four. My face was hidden almost the whole time, and the one time I look out a skeleton pops up from behind a gravestone.
September 29, 2004
Everyone Loves the Chocolate
From the warped minds at weebls-stuff.com: Choccy
Warning, may cause nightmares or chocolate cravings.
September 28, 2004
Well, at least I have some pictures I could post for this occasion, even if I don't have cats of my own.
It may be only a one-year-old tradition, but it's still a tradition! Last year, Boss Ross and I declared that the first Friday in October shall be "Post a Cat on Your Blog Day", or more simply, BlogACatMas. Yeah, posting a picture of a cat is nearly as old as blogging itself, but we figured why not have a designated special day for that most bloggy of blog practices?
Here's some inspiration:
So gather your kitty pictures, because Friday's the day! [via The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century :: Joey deVilla's Weblog]
September 26, 2004
How to Cheer Oneself Up After a Boring and Dull Weekend
I've been in an absolutely crappy mood all weekend. I dunno if it's the phase of the moon or that time of the year or what. In an act of desperation I sent someone some songs anonymously, and got an absolutely wonderful response to the second one. I am now smiling. The End.
ps. please don't kill me.
September 19, 2004
Shaun of the Dead
Okay, I must agree with Suw that Shaun of the Dead is great. I'm not a huge fan of horror movies in general, but this is more than just a zombie movie. It's a zombie movie with comedy, or actually it's a romantic comedy with zombies. Whatever it is it is brilliant. It opens next Friday and everyone must go see it. Here's the Official Website . Go there and check it out so I gain pint points.
SHOW TUNES 1, FUNDAMENTALISTS 0
This morning I had the most bizarre subway ride. I board the Number 3 train at Grand Army Plaza after 9 a.m. Find a seat, then settle into reading Henry James for class. I hear a woman’s voice gradually rising in volume. She is preaching the “Lord’s” word to the train car’s sleepy riders. Of course, I had forgotten the headphones for my subway evil sounds blocking device. The train stops and starts.
The words denigrating “gay devils” reach my ears. I stand up.
Me: “Excuse me, but do you mind keeping your voice down, I am trying to read.”
Preacher Lady: (screams) “I got to testify.”
Preacher lady hitches up her skirts and tells me that I am going to hell for interrupting you-know-who’s word. Two or three OTHER Christian ladies on the train start shouting at me and discussing my prospects as the Devil’s prison bitch. The last straw was a 50 something red faced man in a suit slamming his Bible towards my face. There was only one thing I could do.
Me: “If you all don’t lower your voices and cease calling me Satan, I will have to sing show tunes.”
September 16, 2004
CNN Goof Of The Day
From the "oops" department:
cnn divides europe
Gert-Jan posted this excellent screencap of CNN reporting on Putin's visit to Berlin. Too bad they moved Switzerland up and over to the Czech republic's spot on the map.
Notice how naming the Netherlands and Belgium was clearly to big a task.
If CNN can't even get elementary school facts right, how can you trust anything they say?
[via Adam Curry: Adam Curry's Weblog]
September 15, 2004
It's Informative, But is it Useful?
From over on engadget:
Apparently the South Korean subway advertising system runs off of a 20GB hard disk. Add your own caption for extra fun! [engadget]
Feel free to leave your own caption here or there.
September 14, 2004
Let's clear some things up.
[kasia in a nutshell]
The Star Trek thing.
Star Trek is not a geek thing. Not all geeks like Star Trek, heck, most geeks I know never watch it. Would you people stop equating geeks with Star Trek freaks? Who the hell is Ivanova? The first guy to buy me a Star Trek mousepad as a cute gift would wear it as a collar in about fifteen seconds or less.
So people think geeks wear tshirts with brand names because they're proudly displaying their loyalty? That's cute and funny at the same time. T-shirts at conferences are free, t-shirts at conferences come emblazoned with logos and brand-names, ergo, geeks often wear tshirts with brand names because they're free. Unlike the rest of you gap-labled yuppies, we don't pay to advertise corporations.
Unless you count my Free Software Foundation tshirt, I paid for that, but that was really more of a donation than a purchase. Sort of like the emacs manual, yah, i'll ever read that!
Geeks can fix things.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha -- that's all I'm going to say on the issue.
In general, I've always thought of myself as more on the geek side. But reading through the guide to geek guys it seems I was wrong. I'm barely geeky at all! Even though in humor, I just found that these were just so wrong and cliched that they weren't even that funny.
September 02, 2004
Ever Wonder What the Worst Jobs Are?
My friend Selma pointed me at this article from Popular Science that covers the worst jobs in science.
From fart sniffer to postdoc, the most torturous ways to make a living in science.
Ah, science! Ennobling. Fascinating. Deeply challenging. Also, dangerous, gross and mind-bogglingly boring. We at Popular Science are sometimes brought up short by the realization that there are aspects of science—entire jobs, even—that, when you strip away the imposing titles and advanced degrees, sound at best distasteful and at worst unbearable. Having chosen last month our second annual Brilliant 10 -- a group of dynamic researchers making remarkable discoveries—we turned to this pressing question: For the rest out there, just how bad can a science job get?
The answer: Really, really bad.
We solicited nominations from more than a thousand working scientists and culled the list for the most noxious. Then we voted. Which is to say, there is absolutely nothing scientific about the ranking of the worst jobs in science that appears on these pages; it is simply the collective opinion of a group of alternately awestruck and disturbed editors who rarely suffer anything worse on the job than keyboard- induced repetitive-motion syndrome. [Popular Science]
Um. Ew. I don't think I could ever see some kid saying they'd want to do any of these when they grow up.
August 29, 2004
Fanatical Apathy, The Guest Edition
Is this on? Hello?
[blows into microphone]
In the back, can you hear me? Yes? Okay. Good. Uh...
HAH! MINE! ALL MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE! [Fanatical Apathy]
August 24, 2004
I'm not sure if this is real or fake...
But either way it's pretty damn funny.
Cory Doctorow: This is a video of two teenaged boys playing Doom 3 -- you can't see the game, just their reaction. As Joey notes, these kids are screaming like hyenas as the boo-scareys lurch out of the Doom 3 shadows and leap on their characters. One of the kids actually gnaws a pillow when it all gets to be too much for him. Pretty cool endorsement for a game, actually. 7.8MB WMV Link
August 20, 2004
Using Google as a Research Tool
A LiveJournal user has used Google to figure out some stats about LJ users.
Maybe If I Share It...
Maybe if I share this with the world it will get out of my head. Those wonderful wacky people at weebls have a little cartoon that I'm finding more addicting than Badgers. I mean, Everyone Love Magical Trevor. He makes cows disappear than reappear! I blame ladysissyphus for my knowledge of this.
August 19, 2004
Damn Those Cobblestick Shuttlerunners
Adam Felber gives us a transcript of an obscure event from the olympics. Here's a snip of the beginning.
TOM: Welcome back, and we're just in time for the 800 meter sideways cobblestick shuttlerun. With me, I have 1976 bronze medalist, Lucy Pinker. Lucy, what are we looking for today?
LUCY: Well, Tom, Hungary's Bidrai Malouva is the favorite in this event, having taken gold in Sydney.
TOM: He's more machine than man!
LUCY: Uh, well, sure...
TOM: But don't count out the plucky American, Morgan Hurren. He gave Malouva a real run for his money in Sydney, finishing a very close 7th, and he's been training exceptionally hard for this year's games.
[Cut to exciting video package about Hurren and his various trials and tribulations as he trained to rival the preeminent sideways cobblestick shuttlerunner in the world. Morgan turns out to be a startlingly down-to-earth kid, and you get the sense that maybe, just maybe, he's got a shot here. He's plucky.]
TOM: And there he is, the Kansas kid who has the whole cobblestick shuttlerun world abuzz. [Fanatical Apathy]
August 18, 2004
Lions and Tigers and Bears... BRAAAAAP
Those wacky animals are at it again.
SEATTLE, Washington (Reuters) -- A black bear was found passed out at a campground in Washington state recently after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a campground worker said on Wednesday.
"We noticed a bear sleeping on the common lawn and wondered what was going on until we discovered that there were a lot of beer cans lying around," said Lisa Broxson, a worker at the Baker Lake Resort, 80 miles (129 km) northeast of Seattle.
The hard-drinking bear, estimated to be about two years old, broke into campers' coolers and, using his claws and teeth to open the cans, swilled down the suds. [CNN.com]
I personally like that he was smart enough to avoid the Busch beer. He's even got taste!
Posted by snooze at 11:28 PM
Oh, Yes. So Wrong.
Thanks to those fine folk at Boing Boing for this link. I may have to destroy you all for it.
So wrong: Something Awful re-captions selections from Watchmen.
So wrong, but so funny. Hmm, what other comics to re-caption.
Posted by snooze at 08:56 PM
August 04, 2004
What Everyone Needs When They Go Out On A Blind Date
Hmm. I wonder if I can use this service yet. I mean, if I had a date anytime in the next decade.
Cingular Wireless recently introduced an odd new tool for subscribers. "Escape-a-Date" is touted as "the perfect service to use when you are afraid that your blind date may not be just right for you." Users schedule a "rescue" phone call at a pre-set time which tells them exactly how to lie their way into speedy escape. Eight randomly-generated humorous scripts are offered, here's a snip from one:[Boing Boing Blog]
Hey, this is your escape-a-date call. If you're looking for an excuse, I got it. Just repeat after me, and you'll be on your way!
"Not again! Why does that always happen to you? ... Alright, I'll be right there." Now tell 'em that your roommate got locked out, and you have to go let them in. Good luck!"
I remember doing this kind of thing to get out of meetings that were driving me insane.
Posted by snooze at 02:02 PM
CIA Asks Bush to Discontinue Blog
Posted by snooze at 01:33 PM
Bye Bye Jack, We Won't Be Missing You
On the nascent cable industry, in 1974
“[Cable will become] a huge parasite in the marketplace, feeding and fattening itself off of local television stations and copyright owners of copyrighted material. We do not like it because we think it wrong and unfair.”
On the VCR, 1983
"We are facing a very new and a very troubling assault ... and we are facing it from a thing called the video cassette recorder and its necessary companion called the blank tape.
We are going to bleed and bleed and hemorrhage, unless this Congress at least protects one industry ... whose total future depends on its protection from the savagery and the ravages of this machine [the VCR]."
"[Some say] that the VCR is the greatest friend that the American film producer ever had. I say to you that the VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone."
On the public domain, 1995
"A public domain work is an orphan. No one is responsible for its life. But everyone exploits its use, until that time certain when it becomes soiled and haggard, barren of its previous virtues. How does the consumer benefit from the steady decline of a film's quality?"
On the meaning of value, 1983
"Nothing of value is free. It is very easy ... to convince people that it is in their best interest to give away somebody else's property for nothing, but even the most guileless among us know that this is a cave of illusion where commonsense is lured and then quietly strangled."
And the Valenti slogan
"If you cannot protect what you own, you don’t own anything."
Posted by snooze at 01:25 PM
August 01, 2004
Because Sunscreen is Very Important
Alton Brown in his Speedo TSB2000.
Posted by snooze at 01:36 AM
July 31, 2004
Email, PowerPoint, and Breaking Up
Accordian Guy writes about the growing trend of people getting dumped via email.
The underlying idea of using email to deliver unpleasant news isn't all that novel. You've probably had to phone someone to cancel plans and were relieved to get their voice mail or answering machine rather than the actual person, and you may have even heard of situations where people have broken up over the phone. Breaking up in writing was common enough for the term "Dear John Letter" to be coined. In these situations, the bearer of bad news is trying to weasel out of having to deal with the reaction.
Listing the reasons for a breakup, whether the breakup is taking place in person, by postal mail, over the phone or email, isn't new, either. What is new is listing the reasons in point form. [Accordian Guy]
Definitely a fun read.
Posted by snooze at 08:35 PM
July 30, 2004
Posted by snooze at 06:32 PM
July 29, 2004
The W is for Washington
Posted by snooze at 11:51 PM
July 27, 2004
Run. Really, Really Fast.
It seems that the Gov UK isn't able to take a joke:
The Cabinet Office has demanded that the author of the Preparing for Emergencies parody site, remove it from the Net immediately, and not put it up again in another guise.
The government launched an advertising and leafleting campaign yesterday, advising us all of what to do in the event of a national emergency. The idea is that because we live in a faster, 24-hour world, we are unlikely to have a stockpile of tinned food in our cupboards like our WWII surviving grannies, and are so less well-prepared for any terrorist strike.
Naturally, the campaign has an associated website, and as we all know, it doesn't take long for things to happen in Internet-Land. The parody site went up almost immediately at the remarkably similar address www.preparingforemergencies.CO.uk, as opposed to GOV.uk. [The Register] [via dropsafe]
The author has refused to take the site down so far, but has added links to the real site in hopes to satisfy the powers that be. Here's some advice he gives on what to do in an emergency.
General advice about what to do in an emergency
If you find yourself in the middle of an emergency, your common sense and instincts will usually tell you what to do. However, it is important to:
- Really, really fast.
- Follow the advice of the emergency services, unless that advice is something other than "Run".
- Try to remain calm and think before acting, and try to reassure others. Or, trample them in a desperate attempt to flee as the building you're in is consumed by a radioactive cloud.
- Check for injuries. Here's a hint: if it's painful, it's probably injured. However, hurting when you pee is probably not an injury related to the incident. But get yourself checked out anyway.
Posted by snooze at 07:54 PM
July 23, 2004
Be All That You Can Be... And Then Some
Wow, being in the army has some great perks, including things like new breasts!
Bigger breasts offered as perk to U.S. soldiers
Plastic surgery available on taxpayers' dime
Updated: 10:34 a.m. ET July 22, 2004
NEW YORK - The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan “Be All You Can Be,” but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers’ dime.
The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free -- something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.
“Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible,” Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.
Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said. [MSNBC]
The article doesn't mention whether or not these were performed on men or women though.
Posted by snooze at 11:56 AM
July 22, 2004
Try Saying that Three Times Fast
I want to live in this village.
A small village in Wales has changed its name from Llanfynydd to Llanhyfryddawelllehynafolybarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyrhafnauole in protest against a wind farm which is planned for a nearby hill. They need to be careful - Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch got its full name when a tailor from Menai decided that they needed more tourists. Perhaps Llanhyfryddawelllehynafolybarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyrhafnauole will stick.
(Llanhyfryddawelllehynafolybarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyrhafnauole means "quiet beautiful village, a historic place with rare kite under threat from wretched blades" and beats Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, or "the church of St Mary in the hollow of the white hazel near the fierce whirlpool and the church of Tysilio by the red cave", in length by 8 characters.)
Thanks to ASBradbury for the tip. [Chocolate and Vodka]
Posted by snooze at 02:40 PM
July 19, 2004
Dance, Voldo, Dance
Here's a music video made my synchronizing Soul Calibur with a dance track:
Dance, Voldo, Dance is a music video made by synchronizing the movements of gladiators from the game Soul Calibur with a dance track, so that they appear to be getting down with their nasty selves to the music. It's quite good!
There's also notes about it linked to from the video. Pretty cool.
Posted by snooze at 10:53 AM